Challenge no.2 - Jog On Love!

Challenge 2 - jog 3 miles

Set by friend of 16 years, ex-boyfriend (years ago) and fitness machine -Lloyd.

Lloyd has cycled 50 miles, ran up 920 stairs in about 6 minutes and is due to take part in a half marathon and a sprint triathlon. He does it for fun (and charity). Strange. I don't have any pictures of me and Lloyd together, but here is one of him alone for you ladies, he is single, not because I damaged him though.

Lloyd said he set me this challenge because he knew I would find it hard, and this is about challenges! He thought I might learn that it takes a great deal of commitment to be super fit (he wasn't saying he is a super fit person, but he is modest.)

I dislike jogging, in fact I hate most forms of excercise. The only excercise I get is shaking my stuff on the dancefloor all night long, and man can I shake it! So I figured, logically, if I can dance for about 5 hours non-stop, surely I can jog a pathetic 3 miles. Yes? Actually, No.

The first part of this challenge to overcome was the fact that I do not own trainers or jogging bottoms. I contemplated doing it in a vintage dress and 5 inch stilettos but Sophie talked me out of it. So I put on the closest thing to jogging bottoms - leggings and borrowed Sophie's trainers (Etnies, size 4, made for skaters, not joggers or size 5 like myself).

I set off jogging, I was feeling good, it was sunny, the streets were empty, I could hear Sophie cackling, as I got to the end of my road (0.1 mile about 160 metres) I wanted to give up and I could still hear Sophie laughing like a witch. Luckily a car beeped at me and not wanting to look like a pathetic excuse for a woman, I kept jogging. I got about another half a mile and I thought my heart was going to explode and it made me seriously consider giving up smoking (I had a refreshing cigarette soon as I got home and my breathing had returned to normal) So I decided I would walk for 1 minute, I seriously considered going home and just accepting I had already failed, but I carried on. When I jogged past other joggers, I thought 'they might think I'm one of them' but in retrospect it was obvious I'm an amateur. I haven't properly jogged or ran since I was about 14. Me jogging looks like a drunk chicken. In total I worked out I jogged about 1.5 - 2 miles and walked 1 - 1.5 miles. I am a failure.

I hate jogging. I realised on my jog that I will not be doing this again, it was boring, repetitive and I felt stupid every single second of it. Really this challenge was doomed from the start, I am a smoker, I do not excercise, I did not ensure I was hydrated, the trainers were too small, I thought my toe-nails were going to fall off and as I only wear high heels the muscles in my legs have changed so it is now impossible for me to be in flat shoes too long.

I did learn that you have to be very committed if you want to be fit and buff, but at the moment I still think only a sadist would bother with jogging. I really do need to get fitter, but I'm not going to get there through jogging, I will just have to shake it on the dancefloor longer!

10 Reasons Why Jogging Sucks.....

1. It makes your boobs saggy

2. and possibly everything else!

3. The guy who invented it as a form of excercise died really young.

4. You can't wear make-up (I did anyway)

5. OR heels or dresses, or anything else pretty!

6. It's boring

7. I felt I hadn't gained anything at the end. Pointless.

8. It hurts your toes (this may have been the size too small skating trainers)

9. You look really stupid!

10. People shout stuff.

Difficulty rating: Impossible!

Fun Factor: ZERO!

Challenge 2 - FAILED! jogged 2 miles, walked 1.

Do this if.... you want to get fit and you like solitude.

Holly

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